I was planning to do a series of reviews for all 3 Sims games at some point. Their innovation changed how we see games in general, and because of their accessibility, they were perhaps the first “casual” games.  They are also the best selling games of all time because of their ability to be played by people who wouldn’t generally be considered “gamers” : girls, parents, grandparents, The Sims are for everyone.

However, they are closer to simulations, or perhaps even virtual “toys”, than actual video games, and as such, a straight review may not do them true justice. So many different things can happen, and one person’s playthrough can and will be completely different from anyone else’s. Because of this, I’ll be playing through all three Sims games (Sims, Sims 2, and Sims 3, if you haven’t figured that one out. No expansion packs will be used, I’m going all native). I’ll create the same family in each game, and tell you my experiences while playing through the first 7 days of their moving in.

Now, with that said, here is my first playthrough entry:

Day 1

I’ve decided to create a very recognizable family to see how well each of the 3 games handle customization. So I’ve created the Corleone family from The Godfather films. That’s to say, Don Vito, Michael, Sonny, and Kay, Michael’s annoying, whiny wife. Customization in the first game was definitely not a main focus. There’s a selection of perhaps 10 different default faces, and 3 skin colours, per gender. There also only about 10 different outfits per gender (some complete with pot-bellies, which show when in a bathing suit or something of that nature, which I thought was a nice touch). Personalities are also paper-thin. You have a certain number of points to allocate to a few traits (RPG-style) like Niceness, Neatness, Playfulness, etc.

Vito Corleone is a very nice, playful, but lazy old man. His son, Sonny, is not as nice, but very outgoing and active (perhaps as close as I can get to the real, shoe-throwing, foul-mouthed Caan). Michael was a cold, calculating character, but for the sake of gameplay, I made him nice, and very neat, making him more likely to clean up after himself. Kay, his wife, possesses more or less the same qualities.

Our first order of business was to move into a house. Seeing as how we had a relatively large family, I wanted a property that would allow everyone to have a decent living space. I’ve actually played through this game with another family, entirely without a house at all. They were actually pretty well-off, and all I really had to build was a small shed to provide a private bathroom area. However, this wasn’t easy to keep up for the entire game.

I end up choosing the 3rd largest default house, 10 Sim Lane, which is an empty 4-room house. After the purchase of the property, I had about 5000$ to spare.

What I realize right away when beginning to play is that a feature in future games is absent: family relationships. In the Sims 2 and 3, I’m able to set relationships before starting, like who are siblings, parents, wives, husbands, etc. In the original Sims however, I could conceivably make two brothers have homosexual relationships, or make fathers fall madly in love with daughters, and mother-in-laws, and nephews, all at the same time. Making this even weirder, there is jealousy in the game, so if you get caught kissing your nephew, and your mother-in-law catches you in the act, she’ll be heartbroken and very, very pissed off at you.

Within the first 10 minutes of playing, I begin making purchases. Fridge, toilet, bathtub, 4 ugly brown single beds, and a radio. I also make the decision to sacrifice the money for early convenience, and buy a garbage compactor and dishwasher.

The newspaper arrives, along with the newspaper already sitting on the lawn, and at this stage in the game, it’s the only way to get a job. They only have one job available each, so I split them between the 4 family members. Vito and Sonny go into Law Enforcement, and Michael and Kay go into the Entertainment Business. After that’s good and done, our humble neighbors, the Goths, come to visit. I immediately see an opportunity to spice things up, and make Sonny flirt with Bella, the wife of the Goth family. I have Vito immediately kick out Bella’s husband so that she can have some alone time with him, and by the time she leaves that night, they are madly in love. One thing to note is that all it takes is spamming the “Talk” and “Compliment” actions for hours in-game, and you can make any two sims love each other within minutes.

The house comes with a free fireplace, which I sell for for a few extra dollars (or…simoleons…or whatever)

Within 15 minutes of playing, I begin to remember the annoyances associated with the game. It seems like no matter what I do, I can’t catch a break. My sims are ALWAYS in a bad mood, always pissed, always whining, and always depressed. Meters always drop way too quickly. Sims literally need to go to the bathroom about 5-10 times a day, depending on how much you actually care to tell them. I eventually stopped caring and hired a maid to mop up the puddles of pee on the floor. I wouldn’t have a huge problem with that, except it makes getting promotions extremely difficult, because my sims are always miserable before going to work, and ready to pass out by the time they get home.

The house is also proving to be too small for the size of the family, and it quickly becomes apparent that having a family larger than 2 or 3 people will be quite challenging to manage in a small house with a small budget. The only benefit is having many incomes at the same time, provided you don’t miss work and get fired.

However, despite these problems, and a generally low quality of living, the Corleones pull through and survive through their first day with all their jobs, and and mental states intact.

Day 2

Well…they’re still alive.

Because of their awful work hours as security guards, Sonny and his old man are at work during the wee hours of the morning. I force Michael and Kay to get out of bed, and socialize, because they are strangers who barely know each other’s names, yet they are supposed to be married. Not to worry though, through some delicate spamming, they are soul mates in time for breakfast. However, memories begin to come back from when I used to play this game, and I realize that relationships in the first Sims game are almost completely aesthetic. With the Livin’ Large expansion, they can have sex, and with other expansions, they can go out on dates, but in the Native game, relationships never go further than having the ability to kiss as opposed to simply compliment. Oh, and they can also sleep in the same bed, and use the same bathroom at the same time, which is a godsend in a small house. I’m already plotting the death or removal of a sim or two, because the whole family would simply be more well-off. If I can get Bella to ditch her loser husband for Sonny, Sonny can move out, and I’ll only have the old Don to deal with. Perhaps a small fire in his bedroom?

Suddenly, I get a phone call asking if I want to adopt a baby. Why not?

I name the baby Badaboom and put him in the kitchen, where the radio is always blaring, piles of dirty dishes have clouds of flies hovering over them, and puddles of pee still remain from Day 1, when everyone had to go to the bathroom but only one person could use the toilet at a time.

Within 6 hours, Child Services accuses me of being a bad parent and takes Badaboom away so he can have a better life. Fair enough. Now I don’t have to put him in the backyard so that the family can have a decent night’s sleep.

Sonny and Vito come home with some money, do some socializing, and become friends.

The rest of the day is spent simply surviving. That is, eating, and going to pee, over and over again. It’s a simple life, really.

Day 3

The day is quickly started with Sonny blatantly missing work to invite Bella over for a good time. They spend the entire time together alternating between kissing and backrubs. They have such a good time, they don’t even realize that they spent 4 hours kissing, standing up in a kitchen covered with garbage, dishes, rotting food, and human urine. Unfortunately, life isn’t always such a fairytale, as the phone begins to ring. Sonny pulls himself off of Bella to answer, only to find out that he has been fired.

Only a few hours later, another call comes to tell me that Kay and Michael have been fired for not coming to work either. I’m actually surprised by it, not having even noticed that they didn’t go to work the previous day.

The upside though, is a random event. Apparently I made a decent investment in a company a while ago, and as such, I’ve gotten 1250$ in return, which should be enough to keep us covered until we can all get work again. I get Michael and Kay to both join law enforcement, and now the whole family goes to work together (well, other than Sonny). Since my sims are always so miserable, I decide to splurge a little to improve life somewhat. I blow most of our budget on a nice double bed for Michael and Kay, and Sonny/Vito can use it when Michael and Kay aren’t using it.

It’s been a rough first 3 days in the Corleone house. It seems like there’s always someone on the verge of starvation, or fainting, or having their bladders explode (or sometimes all of the above). It’s only been a few days and already, our sims have enough anecdotes for a lifetime.

I’ll write about the next 3 days of their awful lives as soon as I can, before telling you what happens on the 7th and final day of my coverage. There may be deaths between now and then… so if you’re squeamish…well, why are you on this site in the first place?

Check back soon!